Why Yardwork Reminds me of the TV Show "Friends" and the Musical "Rent"

Yesterday, I put up a semi-serious plea on Facebook for individuals to come help me do my leaves. I have a fairly large piece of property (for middle-class Long Island). In past years, I've hired a company to come and do my fall cleanup, because the leaves are just completely overwhelming otherwise.

This year, due to my prolonged unemployment, that option wasn't quite as feasible (although, with my luck, I'll get a great offer this week ... AFTER the work is done!).

So, I started thinking, "I have a pretty big network on Facebook -- lemme throw it out there and see who might be able to help!"

Backtrack a little bit. As I posted last week, I recently started really trying to be more selfless. This is a new phenomenon for me. When I was in college, I was a big fan of people "owing" me favors (I'd do a lot of favors for others, taking my cues from The Godfather ("Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me.")). But, after college, I definitely became more selfish -- believing I could take care of things myself (whether on my own, or hiring people).

So, more recently, I started being more giving -- helping people look for jobs, fix computers, etc. My intent, of course, wasn't to go back to those people; being giving shouldn't be a tit-for-tat exchange, obviously. And, this morning, my 'karma' paid off, as my sister & her boyfriend and my friend all managed to show up and together, we did yeoman's work and took care of a preposterous amount of leaves.

But, yesterday, when I wasn't sure if anyone would come (and, let me also say, I expected very few -- most of my friends have their own homes and leaves and families, etc.), I started thinking about a few random thoughts (which gets me back to the original point of this post!)

So - I was thinking about the TV show Friends, and how they were a collective group of, well, friends, that did everything together. It's entirely unrealistic, of course; which is why it was good TV, but one can't help but wonder at the camaraderie they showed in each episode. I think, deep down, all of us went through our 20s wishing for that kind of group.

And, right after I thought about that, I thought of a key scene in the play Rent, when Roger confesses to Mark that he's leaving NY. After Mark basically tries to goad Roger into staying (saying, "For someone who's always been let down, who's heading out of town?"), Roger retorts by saying to Mark, "For someone who longs for a community of his own, who's with his camera, alone?" (suggesting that Mark, effectively, isn't "living" but rather, lives vicariously through others). (the video of the 'song' is attached - the 'showdown' begins around 6min in).


It's a fairly powerful moment in the play, and especially for me. I always identified the most with Mark, as he almost certainly the central character (not the star, necessarily, but certainly the hub of the play, where each character is a spoke on "his" wheel) -- in Malcolm Gladwell-speak, he's a "Connector," which is certainly what I strive to be (not always successfully).

And that's the rather roundabout way I came to the title of this post -- it really was that kind of stream-of-consciousness thinking. No, I may not have a "community of my own;" and I'm past my 20s, and any opportunity for a group of friends, where we have no responsibilities and -- apparently -- make obscene amounts of money without working hard for it, so we can spend our days sitting in a coffee shop is long gone. But, I do have enough good in my life to be satisfied; and I do have a clean lawn. I think my new concept of selflessness is going to stick.